To Love a Complex Woman
We’ve all heard jokes about women who don’t know what they want or whose wishes or desires are in opposition to one another. I can’t speak to that. I came here to talk about loving a complex woman.
(Since I am talking about my complex woman, references to myself are male and to her, female. Your experiences may be different, so substitute pronouns at will or just listen to the heart of one person who loves another’s complexity.)
A complex woman is one who has intricacies that seem contradictory to a lazy or uninformed observer, but require a man who knows and loves her enough to see them, understand them, enjoy them, and most certainly, appreciate them.
For example, take this statement:
I’ll want you to listen to my problems, yet not fix them.
She wants to be heard, seen and understood. She wants a safe place to vent. She wants subtle reassurance that you still care by the determination she sees in your eyes as she tells her story. She wants to know a problem with someone else still provokes a quick rise in protective anger before you regain your composure because, of course, she can handle it herself. She wants you to be on her side, but she wants it authentically so she can respect you. She doesn’t want you to do anything about it (unless she asks you to), but she does want the strength of your…
